MIKE&TRICIA'S HOLLYWOOD DIRT REPORT

CELEBRITY SMACKDOWN!!! LINDSAY LOHAN vs PARIS HILTON!!! WHO YOU GOT???: It's on between LINDSAY LOHAN and PARIS HILTON!!! Linds is fuming after Paris zinged her while filming her new reality show, "The World According to Paris."

Here's what happened: Paris gave earrings to a homeless woman who mistook her for Lindsay. To which Paris responded, "If I were Lindsay, I would be stealing earrings not giving them away." LiLo supposedly told her pals, "[Paris] is mean. You don't have to make fun of serious matters in people's lives to be funny."

WATCH LADY GAGA PERFORM ON TOP OF A GIANT HIGH HEEL: LADY GAGA didn't just perform on "Oprah" yesterday. She performed on top of a GIANT HIGH HEEL!!!



CELEBRITY NAKEDNESS: RIHANNA did an ad recently for her new perfume that shows her in a robe open enough to display skin. Well, that kind of stuff doesn't fly in the Middle East, so, naturally, it was Photoshopped before it ran in a Kuwati newspaper. Check out the before and after ...

2.) GEORGE CLOONEY'S sexy Italian girlfriend, ELISABETTA CANALIS, just did one of those naked PETA ads. Sadly, all of her naughty parts are covered, and thus, they remain a mystery to all of us but George ...

By the way ... Clooney turns the big 5-0 today. You can look over all of today's celebrity birthdays here.

CELEBRITY CRIME: Pittsburgh Steelers receiver and "Dancing With the Stars" front runner HINES WARD had a run in with the law yesterday in Los Angeles, and was even briefly handcuffed!!! But it turned out to be a mistake.A mistake made by Hines' girlfriend. Let me explain ...

The girlfriend - as yet unidentified - had some kind of "incident" with a valet, which resulted in her calling the police and reporting her car stolen. After everything was cleared up and her car returned to her, she failed to call police and cancel the report.

Consequently, at about 2:00 yesterday morning, cops saw the car and pulled it over. (--According to some unsubstantiated reports, they approached the car with their GUNS DRAWN!!!)

Hines lady friend was able to clear things up and it's all good now. In fact, Hines posted this online message yesterday: "I want everyone to know that this was a complete misunderstanding. The police were just doing their job. Apologies were made and it's now in the past. Moving forward."

2.) NICOLAS CAGE is off the hook. He won't be prosecuted after his arrest in New Orleans last month for alleged domestic abuse and disturbing the peace. His attorney tells People magazine, "After their investigation, the D.A.'s refused all charges against Nick and the matter has been closed."

BABY NEWS: Jay Mohr and wife Nikki Cox (above) welcomed their first child together yesterday (Thursday). Nikki gave birth to a boy, Meredith Daniel Mohr.