MIKE&TRICIA'S HOLLYWOOD DIRT REPORT

"'DEM BABIES" HAVE NAMES BUT MARIAH PLAYS GAME: MARIAH CAREY and NICK CANNON haven’t officially announced the names of their recently-born twins, but Mariah revealed a clue via Twitter yesterday. The new mom says both names begin with "M"s.

Then she challenged you to GUESS ...

I know what you're asking yourself: "lambily"??? What the eff is 'lambily'??? Let you Uncle Mikey explain: Mariah calls her fans "lambs", so "lambily" is, like, a FAMILY of LAMBS. I know. I'll pause for a moment to give you a chance to throw up a little in your mouth.

CELEBRITY D.U.I.: EVA LONGORIA'S "Desperate Housewives" husband, RICARDO CHAVIRA, became the latest celeb to get popped for DUI. Chavira was pulled over early yesterday morning for driving erratically, and -- just like in RICK SPRINGFIELD'S case -- the cops smelled booze on his breath.

Ricardo not only failed field sobriety tests, he refused to take a breathalyzer or blood test. That earned him a one way ride to the Clink. The Pen. The Cooler. The Stir. The Slammer. Ok, you get the idea.

CELEBRITY COURT: It's looking more and more like LINDSAY LOHAN could walk away from all her legal chaos with not just a slap on the wrist, but it's entirely possible she'll won't serve ANY jail time whatsoever.

If Lindsay pleads no contest to misdemeanor theft -- as many seem to believe she has decided to do -- TMZ says the judge might not give her any additional jail time. That means all she'll be on the hook for is the four months they gave her for violating her probation. And because of the whole prison overcrowding thing, they might just give her an electronic ankle bracelet and let her serve it at HOME.

(--That's actually something they'd be just as likely to do with anyone in her position it's not like they'd be giving Lindsay special treatment, by the way.)

Meanwhile ...  Lindsay decided to show up for her first day of community service in a see-through top with no bra!!!

DANCING WITH THE STARS - KENDRA ELIMINATED: The bottom three couples were Chelsie and Mark, Kendra and Louis, and Kirstie Alley and Maksim. After the elimination, Kendra took the stage and did her signature shake.

ROMANCE REPORT: Jennifer Love Hewitt is back on the market. The actress has split with actor-director Alex Beh.

MEGAN FOX'S REPLACEMENT TOPS MAXIM'S "HOT 100" LIST: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, best known for replacing Megan Fox in the upcoming Transformers movie, topped Maxim magazine's annual "Hot 100" list.

Meg landed in 17th place. (Last year she was number-five.) Daily Show correspondent Olivia Munn was second. Katy Perry, who was number-one last year, dropped to third.

Other notables on list: Cameron Diaz (4), Milas Kunis (5), Natalie Portman (8), Taylor Swift (20), Rihanna (22), Britney Spears (25)Still hangin' in there. You gotta give her props for that, Kate Middleton (26)Some British chick. Maybe you've heard of her?, Lea Michele (28), Kim Kardashian (35), Lindsay Lohan (38), and Miley Cyrus (64).