MIKE&TRICIA'S HOLLYWOOD DIRT REPORT

KIM KARDASHIAN'S HUBBY AND EX MEET - SURVEY SAYS: AWKWARD!!! KIM KARDASHIAN'S new hubby, Kris Humphries, and her sex tape partner, Ray J, met on an airplane over the weekend and, needless to say, they didn't hug it out.

The "New York Post" reports that Ray, who was seated across the aisle from Kris, tried to offer congratulations, but got the cold shoulder. An eyewitness tells the paper, "Ray J said, 'Come on, you know who I am. I just want to say congratulations.' Then Kris, realizing he was cornered, said, 'Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sorry I know who you are.'"

Humphries then reportedly moved to another seat to avoid further awkward conversation. Totally understandable. There aren't many things less awkward than sitting next to someone who starred in a sex tape with your wife.

Related ... Kim, KOURTNEY and KHLOE posed in lingerie to hype their new Sears clothing line. Or would that be a KLOTHING line? Hi-Yo!!! No YOU shut up!

MAZEL TOV! - GENE SIMMONS TO MAKE AN HONEST WOMAN OUT OF SHANNON TWEED: Here comes the bride! According to Entertainment Tonight, SHANNON TWEED and GENE SIMMONS will formalize their 28-year relationship on October 1st in a Beverly Hills hotel.

The sixth season of the Simmons reality show, "Family Jewels", ended in July with the Gene on one knee and Shannon gasping as he asked her to marry him, and while we won't see her answer until season seven premieres on October 4th, word is she'll already be a married woman by then.

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAY LIST FOR FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 2 INCLUDES SALMA HAYEK AND MARK HARMON

'Us WEEKLY' - JADA PINKETT AND MARC ANTHONY 'TOUCHY' WITH EACH OTHER: MARC ANTHONY was on ABC yesterday insisting that he was not unfaithful to wife JENNIFER LOPEZ, but rumors are still circulating that something was going on between him and his "HawthoRNe" co-star JADA PINKETT-SMITH.

"Us Weekly" keeps stoking the fires by claiming that although there were NO sexual shenanigans on the set of their TV show, that doesn't mean Jada and Marc were completely innocent.

A source says, quote, "They were a little touchy and like they were in their own little world." The tab also claims via anonymous sources that the co-stars spent a lot of time alone in Marc's trailer, and that they talked and texted frequently.

Then as J.Lo and Marc's marriage began to fall apart ... Marc started to lean on Jada. "The more distant Marc and Jennifer became, the closer he got to Jada," claims a family insider, who adds that Jada may have "overstepped her bounds" in giving Marc marital advice. "Jennifer didn't like that."

'IN TOUCH' - MADONNA IS A TOILET TYRANT: If you ever have to go to the bathroom really badly, you'd better hope MADONNA'S toilet isn't the only one unoccupied. Because she won't let you use it.

According to "In Touch Weekly", Madonna doesn't let anyone use her toilet, not even her children. "It's just her thing," says a source. "She is very generous, but this is the one thing she doesn't want to share."

A claim, by the way, her rep called “crap.” No pun intended, I’m sure.

WATCH - JULIANNA MARGULIES' BOOBIE STORY: "The Good Wife" star JULIANNA MARGULIES was on DAVID LETTERMAN'S talk show last night and told a pretty humorous story about her son and her so-called chest "boo-boos" ...