MIKE&TRICIA'S HOLLYWOOD DIRT REPORT

IN DENIAL - JENNIFER ANISTON NOT ENGAGED OR PREGNANT: Attention everyone! JENNIFER ANISTON would like you to know that she is neither engaged to boyfriend JUSTIN THEROUX nor has she been fetused by him. And, yes, she's looking a little round these days, but it's NOT a baby bump, it's a too-much-food bump.

While doing press in Europe, Jennifer Aniston directly responded to rumors that are often associated with her: "Rumor number one: I am not planning to get married any time soon," she told reporters during a press conference to promote 'Five', her directorial debut.

"I've been married once, and I don't know if I'll get married again," she said. "But I can tell you that as of this very moment, I have no plan to get married. Got that?" "And rumor number two," she continued, "No, we're not pregnant. It's just I quit smoking, so I've gained a couple of pounds."

BABY POOP - THE TONY ROMO vs. JESSICA SIMPSON BABY RACE!!! IT'S ON!!!: JESSICA SIMPSON still hasn't confirmed or denied being pregnant, but her ex, TONY ROMO, has just revealed that he and wife Candice Crawford are expecting.

Romo made the announcement during a drug prevention event at a Dallas area high school after one of the students asked him if he had any kids...



A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS: Confirmed or not, these pictures via Radar Online of JESSICA in NYC yesterday speak volumes ...

Kinda hard to hide it now, Jess. There's always the Jennifer Aniston I-quit-smoking defense!

JESSICA SIMPSON TWEETS PHOTO OF HERSELF FROM BATHROOM: Check out this pic Jessica tweeted of her bare legs are hanging from the top of a toilet bowl, but not quite reaching the floor. Jess was at an NYC department store bathroom, and you know how it is when you're pregnant and you gotta void.

Jessie's TMI tweet was accompanied with the caption, "Short Girl Problems." For the record, Jessica is about 5-foot-3.

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAY LIST FOR WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 27 INCLUDES HILLARY CLINTON

'DANCING' UPDATE - BUH-BYE BONO: The dream is over for CHAZ BONO.  Our man Chaz was bounced on last night's "Dancing With the Stars." Sure, Chaz had his fans, but in the end, they weren't enough to make up for the fact that he's a terrible dancer. So, thank you America for keeping what's left of this season's integrity in tact.

Going into last night's show, we saw how fed up Chaz was with being compared to different animals by Judge Bruno, and how he came thisclose to crying while venting about it to the cameras. (--On Monday's show, judge BRUNO TONIOLI compared Chaz to a PENGUIN. A few weeks ago, Bruno compared him to an Ewok.)

LISTEN TO CHAZ GO OFF

DANCING AND X FACTOR AT WAR OVER BATHROOMS: The New York Post reports that there's a turf war brewing at CBS Television City between Dancing with the Stars and The X Factor over the bathrooms.

Now that X Factor is shooting live shows, they moved to the CBS lot and as soon as they arrived, insiders say they tried to claim the bathrooms as their own, with someone actually putting up a sign that read "X Factor Bathrooms." Well, the folks at DWTS didn't take that too well, and someone calling himself "Rob" put up his own sign.

Countered an X Factor spokesperson, "Please tell Rob he's welcome to use our restrooms anytime." Ooooh, it’s sooo on!

DID LINDSAY LOHAN'S MOM CONFIRM LINDSAY WILL APPEAR IN PLAYBOY???: Is she or isn't she? The word yesterday was that LINDSAY LOHAN had reached a deal to strip down to her freckles for 'Playboy' and that -- according to TMZ --the photo shoot had already gone down at a Beverly Hills hotel this past weekend.

Today, the gossip site X-17 Online is claiming that Linds mom, DINA LOHAN confirmed to them that, yes, Lindsay did pose for "Playboy". They're reporting she told them, quote, "The photo shoot went well."

They don't have a quote from Dina specifically stating that the photo shoot she referenced was for "Playboy", and the magazine itself refuses to comment on the topic so ... we'll have to wait and see. But, wow, talk about reaching your last resort. How the mighty have fallen. I'm talking about "Playboy" not Lindsay. Hi-Yo!!!

STEVEN TYLER: I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!!! Aerosmith's tour of South and Central America is off to a rough start as last night's second show in Paraguay was postponed to tonight because Steven Tyler was unable to perform.

His manager blamed it on food poisoning, but a spokesman for the shows promoter says Tyler fell in his hotel bathroom, cut his face and lost two teeth, a claim that is backed up by Gustavo Perez, a bellman at the Bourbon Hotel in Asuncion.

He says Tyler had a "nasty fall" and had a bloody face when taken from the hotel by ambulance. Tyler reportedly received stitches and two dental implants during his four-hour hospital stay.

ROMANCE REPORT - BLAKE LIVELY'S ADORABLE BIRTHDAY SURPRISE FOR RYAN REYNOLDS: BLAKE LIVELY helped alleged boyfriend RYAN REYNOLDS celebrate his 35th birthday in Boston Sunday and she did so with this adorable surprise.

As Ryan was leaving for the set of his film R.I.P.D., Lively who was in his trailer, sent out her tiny maltipoo pup named Penny wrapped in dozens of balloons. Adorbs!!!

MAZEL TOV: "The Big Bang Theory" star KALEY CUOCO has gotten engaged to Josh Resnik, an addiction specialist, "People" magazine reports. "The surprise proposal took place during a quiet date night at home," the rep says. "The couple are very happy and excited to begin planning their wedding."