MIKE&TRICIA'S HOLLYWOOD DIRT REPORT

SOFIA VERGARA IS THIS YEAR'S 'MOST DESIRABLE WOMAN': The website AskMen came out with their annual list of the 'Most Desirable Women' and this year the MILFY SOFIA VERGARA tops the list. The "Modern Family" eye candy is not only funny and beautiful, but according to AskMen she has the best cleavage on TV. At 39 years old, by the way, she’s the oldest winner ever.

Vergara was followed by model KATE UPTON, ROONEY MARA from "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo", and MIRANDA KERR.(--See the complete list HERE.)

Last year's top hottie, BLAKE LIVELY, fell all the way to number-32 on this year's list. Oh, and thankfully, this year we don't have to compare the finishes of JENNIFER ANISTON and ANGELINA JOLIE and discuss how it affects our children. Neither one of them made this year's list.

COULD BE TRUE COULD BE CRAP - LINDSAY LOHAN ALLEGEDLY LOADED AT CHATEAU MARMONT: Is LINDSAY LOHAN back to her drugging ways? Witnesses who spotted Lindsay at the Chateau Marmont Sunday night tell Radar Online that she appeared to be under the influence of something.

"Lindsay was spotted going to the restroom with a male companion on numerous occasions in a short amount of time,” an so-called eyewitness told the gossip site. “When the two of them emerged from the bathroom, Lindsay was giggling and her nose appeared red. [Her] eyes were glassy and her pupils were constricted.”

Another witness claims Lindsay was, "slurring her words, and needed help walking at one point in the course of the night."

LiLo's rep is denying the stories: "This is yet another example of people making erroneous assumptions about Lindsay. I seriously question the credibility of any source who refuses to be named as well as their motivations for making up such trash."

Now, now, let's not rush to judgement, people. It could be some kind of upper respiratory thing. After all, it is cold and flu season. I say we simmer down until more people making erroneous assumptions come forward.

ROMANCE REPORT - SCARLETT JOHANSSON HAS A NEW MAN: Looks like SCARLETT JOHANSSON has a new man in her life. ScarJo was spotted in New York over the weekend holding hands with a mystery man whom "People" magazine claims is an advertising executive. They've reportedly been dating five months.

KIM KARDASHIAN SHOWS US HER TWEETS: KIM KARDASHIAN Tweeted a couple of pics of herself in bras from her lingerie line, and pointed out her new, lighter hair color. Truthfully, I totally would NOT have noticed otherwise.

Meanwhile ... sister KOURTNEY spent the day on a Mexican beach rockin' a bikini. Man, she's really let herself go!

GEORGE CLOONEY CONFESSES TO ADULTERY, REVEALS FAVORITE CURSE WORD: GEORGE CLOONEY was on "Inside the Actors Studio" last night, and while dishing about his childhood, told a humorous story about going to confession when he was 8 years old.

Clooney told  host JAMES LIPTON that when he was in the second grade he didn't know what to confess to in church, so he'd just look at the list of sins and pick one. Quote, "I remember reading ‘adultery,’ and I would confess to committing adultery because I thought it mean acting like an adult.”

We also learned what his go-to curse word is. As per show tradition, Lipton asked George the same ten questions he asks all of his guests, including what his favorite curse word is. Here's a hint: it sounds like 'tipsheet'.

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