MIKE&TRICIA'S HOLLYWOOD DIRT REPORT

CHARLIE LOSES IN COURT, BOMBS IN DC: Yesterday was NOT a winner for CHARLIE SHEEN. First, a judge shot down his request for sole custody of his sons, despite baby mamma Brooke Mueller's return to rehab.

The judge's ruling wasn't announced, but TMZ says it's basically because of Charlie's past drug use, and how he's been bragging about it. The joint custody rights the two reached in March remains unchanged.

A smiling Brooke Mueller leaves court yesterday

At his show later that night in D.C., Charlie told the crowd, quote, "Hope you had a better (effing) day than I did." His evening, by the way, was no better than his "(effing) day", with many leaving the show early according to TMZ.

'DANCING' UPDATE: Czech model PETRA NEMCOVA was the latest celebrity to be eliminated from "Dancing With the Stars" last night ...

Petra was joined in the bottom two by wrestler CHRIS JERICHO ... and Judge Len was NOT happy ...

Meanwhile ... KIRSTIE ALLEY showed off the results of dancing 8 hours a day, stepping out last night in a size 6!!! And a lot of Spandex, I'm sure :)

IN DENIAL: VANESSA HUDGENS started the rumor mill churning after she was photographed at Sunday's Coachella fest digging into her purse ..

then pulling her hand out with some kind of white substance on her index finger...

and licking the mysterious white substance off her finger ...

But her rep says it's not what you think. He tells E! News it was just melted white chocolate. To be fair, it WAS hot that day and the stuff on Vanessa's finger does look gooey, not like a powder at all..

2.) JOSH HOPKINS denies he's getting all smoove up in his "Cougar Town" co-star COURTENEY COX.

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Not that he minds the rumor being out there, though. He tells Access Hollywood Live, quote, "It's not like a terrible story to have out there. It's not like I'm upset about it. I mean, she's really hot. But it's just not true."

SNAPSHOT: You gotta love that BRITNEY SPEARS keeps it real enough to still shop at Target. She and boyfriend Jason Trawick picked up toilet paper, and ice cream, among other things, during a shopping trip Monday ...

QUOTE/UNQUOTE: "I just really don't feel the need to let anybody know what the hell I am doing because...the people I want to know are there in my life already." -- CAMERON DIAZ to Showbiz Spy on having no interest in high school reunions.

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Cameron's not a fan of Facebook either, say people "upload their entire lives and say things like 'I took a poop this morning'. She adds, "I don't want to know that much about anybody."

BIRTHDAYS: CARMEN ELECTRA, 'MR. SULU' and Today's Other Celebrity Birthdays can be peeped here.

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BABY NEWS: MARIAH CAREY and NICK CANNON are giving Life&Style Magazine another peek into their lives, revealing to the tab the twins will have two nurseries -- one in her Bel-Air mansion, and the other at her New York apartment.

She says she mirrored the rooms after two of her fans favorite songs,'Underneath the Stars' and 'Close My Eyes.'

2.) KATE HUDSON made a revelation of her own: The baby she's carrying was an accident!!! Kate admitted to InStyle magazine the pregnancy wasn't planned -- "We were tempting fate," she said. "But we were so in love when it happened, it was just so exciting for both of us."

SNAPSHOT: Former "The O.C." star RACHEL BILSON and her enormous dog ...